Sunbathing...in the nude.

summer is coming to an end, i decided to take advantage of the weather (and some indirect sunlight for the much needed vitamin D-still fighting off that last bit of 'yellow') and YUP, AJ got a bath outside today. does it look like he enjoyed it? What are you doing for your last few days of summer?

Aiden: 5 week update (Picture heavy)

Remember last week how we discovered swaddling is a must? Well, this week we discovered that swaddling with Aden and Anais swaddling blankets is a really big must, especially for summer.

5 weeks

Okay 5 weeks has been full of...

• A little more sleep  (thanks to our new swaddling blankets)

• A little bit more fun
• Aiden is making more noises and interacting with hilarious facial expressions and sounds

• Some dancing (ok, a lot of dancing) 
• this momma is stir crazy and this baby can shake his little tush-ka (ok, with some help, but I can tell, he's got some moves) 
• Adventures
• I've figured out how to use my stroller (huge feat. this is one fancy/heavy stroller.
• I wore baby at trader joes. Yes, grocery shopping with the baby and no husband (just a sissy and one of her friends. that is almost solo, the girls are only 15).
•  PICTURES...

doggie uncles

mommy trying to get cute for some photos

mommy giving up on being cute and enjoying a little beer (yes, i am nursing! beer is good for the milk!!!)

another attempt at getting cute. p.s. does my son ever wear clothes???

at leaast SOMEONE is sleeping around here. 

there has been more of this lately too, but i love it because he looks just like his daddy.

catching his sun for the day in his 'Nordstroms' stroller.

again, at least SOMEONE is sleeping.

check out those guns.

i could eat those feet all day long (and i do!)

he didn't like his neck pillow. true story. as soon as i moved it, he slept.

see? sleeping baby and sleeping uncle dog

his new babysitter, Clyde.

i was having too much fun with my vignette phone app....

uncle clyde= Aiden's horse.

resemblance?

Joel got him to laugh! it was awesome. i cried.

mommy's first glass of alcoholic wine since getting pregnant/having baby.

new swaddler (no this is not how i swaddle him). I love your face in this picture, son.

From this day forward,

Macrae's gotta go bc baby is a cryin'

Aiden's birth story: mama's perspective (in 2nd person..?)

July 6, 2011.

2:18 in the morning, you are dreaming of eating waffles with your mother, you pop out of bed because you think you may have had an 'accident'.  You run to the bathroom as a wetness runs down your legs- leaving  spots and streaks on the carpet.

"I think my water just broke," you say at your husband.  you laugh, he laughs, but both of you are nervous/excited.  you laugh together and ask, "what should we do?"

 Real contractions start a few minutes later, and when they are real contractions, you know (just like every other mother has said, "when you go into labor, you'll know.") your contractions aren't strong or long, but they are different.  you tell your husband to sleep. you try to sleep, but can't because you keep thinking about how this is it, this is life beginning.

you are scared shitless.


your husband calls your mother and she's calmer than you expected. he calls his parents and they jump in the car and prepare to make the 3 hour drive.  your husband starts sending out mass text messages (because he's excited/nervous, and he doesn't know what else to do).

you've lost track of actual time.  to you, time is based off contraction lengths and frequency.  they are overwhelming. they take your breath away.  your husband remembers to massage your back most of the time. and when he remembers it helps. A LOT. and when he forgets, it hurts. A LOT.

when your mother arrives, she is calm, you are calm, your husband is pretending to be calm.  you get in the bath. the water helps, but the contractions keep taking your breath away.  your mother straightens her hair because she is excited/nervous and doesn't know what else to do.  you want to straighten your hair because it will be a distraction.  you don't get around to it.

your sister is in summer school.  it is her last day and she has a final. your husband goes to get lunch from Lee's sandwiches and picks your sister up on the way.  she is quiet when she arrives at your house.  your husband will teach her how to press on your back when another contraction comes.  she doesn't want to hurt you, but you want her to press harder. much harder.

it is around 1:30 PM. your mother and husband agree that it is time to go. you keep saying, "no, it's not time. contractions are only 4 minutes apart. they need to be 3 minutes apart."  they make you get in the car.  you sit in the back- holding onto the baby's car seat with you left hand and the door handle with your right.  you breathe. you try to relax your belly.  you moan/scream.

your husband plays your wedding soundtrack. and you think, what a wonderful life (okay, you don't think it, you hear it through your car speakers, but you agree).

you arrive at the hospital and are 7 centimeters dilated.  they take you to labor room 10.  you have decided to do this all natural.  no medications. no IV.  you are confident/nervous.

you get a nurse that your mother/husband don't like. you do not notice the nurses 'attitude'.  your second nurse, Apple, is wonderful.  she guides you. she allows you to move freely.  she gives you ideas.  she brings juice.  she is gentle and knowledgable. 

it is time to push, but the midwife must break your water.  your husband does not like this moment.  you remember  the relief after the gush. the tears in your husband's eyes as he says, "i do not like when you are in pain."  the midwife needs to change her clothes.

your body tells you when to push. Apple guides your pushing.  your body makes you push.  your husband's voice is calm, "you are doing great, sweetheart."  your husband's voice is next to you, but you cannot see him, in this moment, you do not realize you hear him.

the people in the room- your mother, the nurse, your husband, his mother- are present, but not really.  time is moving, but not really.  you and your body move and work together.  your body tells you to push.  you hear voices saying, "sweetheart, you need to rest" and "Macrae, it has been almost two hours, you need to rest-push a little, but rest or you are going to wear yourself out."

your body tells you to push. you try not to.  there is a wave that rolls through your body.  you try not to push. your body jumps out of itself.  you feel like you are screaming.  you will say to your husband, "I can't do this anymore. i can't. i can't."  your husband will have worried eyes, but his voice is calm.  his voice is confident.

you are not sure when the midwife enters the room.  you hear her say, "Macrae, feel your baby's head." you do not want to. but you do.  your body tells you to push. the midwife tells you to push hard.  to keep at it.  there is a pain.  the midwife says, "tight shoulders," and strangers grab your legs. you feel like you are screaming. you push.

you push.

relief.  your son is resting on your chest.  you notice his gorgeous lips. he whimpers, not really a cry.   you think this is the most beautiful sound in the world.  he pees on you.

you feel pain/love/relief/wetness/exhaustion/warmth/energy.
you feel love.

from this day forward,
Aiden's Momma

p.s. this is a super rough copy (i wrote it without editing it.  i will edit it one day)

Aiden: 4 weeks old

4 weeks...Aiden has discovered his voice- not his cute "cooing" voice, but his LOUD/ i am being tortured/ feed me NOW/ my diaper is SO uncomfortable/ HOLD ME voice. (yes, my son is a genius and can say all of these things...)


through crying.


Oh, sleep, i have forgotten what you feel like, what you look like, what you are! This mama is seriously sleep deprived and got a little grumpy this week. Also, to all of you people out there without babies/newborns: DO NOT CALL a momma at 7 AM. Just don't do it. (this happened, today. grrrrr)

Aiden is 4 weeks old!

with auntie madi

melting heart.

he looks exactly like my husband.

This week mama has learned:

• swaddling is a MUST- even in this hot weather. pin those arms down and keep them in by making the blanket TIGHT.  seriously, learn how to swaddle.
• to appreciate 8 1/2 months pregnant sleep (it may not have been comfortable, but at least i got some!)
• babies cry. A LOT. and they so have different cries for each thing they want.
• that breastfeeding is HARD. not just difficult, but a super challenge.  I am still learning, I am still hoping that i will have more confidence in what i am providing for my son.
• that all i am to my son is a giant BOOB.  he is attached to me at least 23 1/2 hours a day (at least this is how it feels!)
• newborn poop isn't so bad, it's just messy.
• a smile from my son can make all my anxiety and grumpiness fade away instantly.  I am hoping to get a picture of one of his oh so adorable smiles for you all to 'ooh and aah' over. 

From this day forward,
Mac-boobie


p.s. birth story from 'my' perspective is half way written! i know you are so excited. 
p.p.s take a second and follow my blog!